Kissing, sex overrated

A few months ago, I wrote this (with a few modifications of course).

Apparently these (kissing and sex) represent the height of expression, affection, appreciation and all those other gooey words which ever romantic person had the misfortune to chance upon when this definition was being written out.

But lets be honest...how much emotion do you need to put in to achieve this and just what exactly is this “this”.

I am told sex starts in your mind and as we all know, with guys being highly visual creatures, it does not take a lot to have their bodies (and whole selves) react a certain way. Women on the other hand, need quite a bit of work to convince them to actually have sex and most of their acquiesce depends on the state of their emotions. A woman who doesn’t have to deal with the emotional overload brought on by the feeling of sexual “frustration” while a man on the other hand might be desperate enough to pay someone one to have sex with him.

And there lies the difference between women and men. By the time a man can pay to sleep with a woman, he is looking for short term release and evidently does not care who it is with. Bottom line, find someone to use your

To be fair, the woman does allow such payment to happen but in most cases, she is looking at a long term goal, a means to make money to buy food, for example. Women do not necessarily have to be paid to have sex but as is the case with most people (or most men), they assume women need some sort of “financial settlement”. And which woman is going to say no? I have actually heard women say they walk out of relationships because their partners think they are there just for financial reasons and since that is all they are getting (and it clearly is not enough), they walkout. Something to think about, isn’t it?

On the moral front, depending on your belief system or which house helper you had growing up, you were probably told not to engage in sex before you were married as it was termed “bad manners”. The mode of this particular education varies from home to home and I know some people who were so traumatized as children they will not even say the word sex.

In fact, there was this one girl (Doreen) who after a divinity paper at school (A’ Level) timidly confessed to us that she had used a bad word on her exam and she was feeling uncomfortable about it. Since I had done the said paper, I was curious as to know what this word was as I did not think I had used it and yet the future of my exam result might have hinged so strongly on the word. After a few minutes of prodding, turns out the word was “sex”. I was amused to say the least. A few years on, I am glad to report, that last I heard, Doreen was married so I am guessing she dealt with that particular phobia.

If we are taught (growing up) that sex is bad manners which loosely translates into “sin”, how then does it become acceptable when you are married? That’s a question I would like answered some day. I am yet to find someone I would deem knowledgeable enough to give me an honest answer. So if you know someone, please redirect, thank you.

But enough about morality and being committed to bettering yourself, resisting temptation and all those other clichés. We live in a world that preaches free will- taking each experience and learning from it- living life to the fullest. I am guessing that’s a directive to EVERY aspect of life after all everyone knows tomorrow is a gift and therefore is not guaranteed, so live today like you do not have a tomorrow!

Pretty irresponsible way to live your life to some extent, in my humble opinion, of course.

In an ideal world, we would all have that one relationship. You meet prince charming (who you have prayed for for a long time), he does his thing, you get married, have children and live in the white house and grow organic food. The reality is you probably will not marry the first boy you crush on or kiss or want to have babies with.

I have often heard people say things like “when you know you know”. Romantic and entirely reaching, in my opinion. I have two things to say “My foot!”

I have heard people say such glorious things about sex but when you really think about it, its just mouth here, tongue there, nip here, than you very much.

The question then becomes, what do you do once you have had this “glorious” adventure? What is left to discover? What new thing are you going to do once the deed is done????

I am told that if you believe sex is overrated, you are not doing it right. I wonder how many “encounters” you had to go through to come to that conclusion… that’s all I am asking.

That was a post some months ago. I got so many reactions it was amazing and interesting because depending on who said what, the conclusion (advice) was all a twisted.

The things that stood out the most were I should go out and have sex, or stay in and wait till I am “safely married” to experience the joy of the moment or just get help because clearly I have ISSUES. And of course, if I am “complaining” so much, I am not doing it right.

The one question everyone failed to answer was one I asked before. What do you do once you have had this “glorious” adventure? What is left to discover? What new thing are you going to do once the deed is done????


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