Friday, October 09, 2009

Of Polygamy,Parenting & Being Wise !

Before anything, kindly find out what it means to have parochial interests! After that i must admit that this is one of my posts and indeed elsewhere that i have had a difficult time to settle on a title. This is so partly because i have something akin to a personal interest or personal dimension to the post am about to make. We men are a funny lot,i say funny coz when to it comes to matters of the heart,who happiest moments are indeed the weakest.We tend to make some decisions that might seem to have been made using our feet rather than our brains.I say so because,while a man got to be a man and nothing else it really leaves a lot more desired.Apparently we are all naturally capricious in our decision or thought process.

Allow me to give you few events and personalities that i know a thing or two about.Am not really a bible person but at least i was till sometimes fourteen or so years ago when for some unknown reason i started fucking up myself as far morals are concerned.From the bible i know loosely that God loves children God has this thing about born and unborn children.Wait,don't think of abortion yet,what am about to narrate is in no way related to abortion at all.Actually i want to indulge your readership in marital issues.I normally find myself fumbling when it comes to this topic.Like i said, God loves children and i take it straight from there that we should do all in our efforts to ensure all the children have the best they could possibly get from us be it your kid and mine or anybody else' kid.In fact not long ago,when we were growing up,all kids belonged to the entire community,so each and every parent was responsible for every other kid irrespective of whose it was.Fast forward to nowadays nobody gives a damn hoot about kids.We have all become terribly selfish,self serving and the list grows and i must admit that you and i are as guilty as it gets,not that i got a kid of my own but its our responsibility. Put differently, if you have a wife and kids or even if you don't its your responsibility and mine to ensure your family got the best of you.Good parenting is not a favour to anybody but yourself.In fact society views you or judges you according to the care and attention you give to your family and well as a man you expect complimentary reciprocity or reciprocation if you like,from your partner.But be it as it may,you must give your best and this is at least according to the bible.

Moving on, i now wish to give you a pointer to the gist of my post today.As few as two months ago,we saw on live tv a certain man being roughed up by police,or was it council askaris? The man was to many a mad person who was becoming a nuisance in the city. But no the man was perfectly normal until when you saw him in the press. Right before that,the man had been taken to appear before a magistrate for failing to settle a bill at some bar and while in the court room he also caused a stir and went on and on about him being a lecturer and so on and forth.This man was called Martin Nyongesa.This is his real name and am mentioning his real name because he is now deceased and i do this with the intention of helping you and i understand how fucked all we men are.

Nyongesa was before is death known to me but not personally.I knew him through favours extended to me by my elder brother sometime back.Nyongesa and my brother were year mates at University and they all proceeded to teach at the same university and heading a department here and there under the same faculty.So occasionally i would see and meet him at the college eatery reserved for the lecturers at the UoN.Nyongesa is one of the folks that married back in the day while they were still in high school doing A-levels.Remember form six?So he joined university as a parent. As fate would have it,Nyongesa being straight from Luhya land was really amused and mesmerised by the colour of the ladies in the city.He went on to marry another very cute and light skinned lady from somewhere in the city.Together they sired two kids who as you may have guessed very old now.In fact they should be clearing college by now if i have my math right.Needless to say, he brazenly abandoned his first wife.What is more strange is that his first wife of many years suddenly became a cancer,something ugly to the extent that he forgot completely about here and the family as a whole.He stopped doing visitations and or giving any support to the kids, a clear indication of how we men get easily fucked up.

As if that was not enough, he again dropped his second wife if we can call her so,forgot about the kids and moved on to Romania,yes ,Romania the country. Here again he hooked up with another Romanian academician lady and together they sired some two kids.As you might have noticed,he took the lord's word, "Go ye and Multiply"! He never slackened when it came to pumping up the population count.He was to me like a dog that in it's trajectory of movement,it keeps urinating in small bushes as if marking territory.He never got late in putting indelible marks when it came to having children.While in Romania things started going kombo kombo for him.He came back to Kenya took back his teaching job at the university but still everything was going mbaya mbaya.He took to alcohol so as to help him cool down.But am sorry to report he dint cool down.Stuff happened so fast,he started going bonkers,many are the times he couldn't settle his bills at the senior common room.Those close to him say,he was mad already.To cut a long story short, his past came to haunt him a very bad way that you and i wouldn't wish for at all.He died while undergoing mental treatment a disgraced man.


I would have given a second personality's story but i hope to do so in the second part of this post.I have brought up Nyongesa's story coz i know it so well like the back of my hand and it relates to something that hit me this morning that got me dumbfounded.As those closer to me might be knowing,my dad has been sickly lately and i have been juggling between attending lectures and seeing to his treatment amongst other calls.Its been really hard but we survive somehow.So as i was coming back to the city very early in the morning,i received a call from someone close but far away from me,informing me that one of my sisters is going bonkers or is at least headed that way.When i tried to check out the story,it turned out my sister's hubby wants to marry a second wife and this is solely the reason my sister is having the mental tantrums.I have not a problem with what an adult does with his or her life.What i have a problem with is a man running to marry another wife while all along he has been something akin to a twat in his role as a parent and a husband.That aside,he has demonstrated more than once that he is not a man.I say so because if you can marry and fail to demonstrate effectively that you can take care of a wife and then run to marry a second wife,then it means you are an idiot.Secondly if you choose to marry the traditional way,and proceed to marry on credit for more than ten years,that is without paying dowry, and then threaten to marry a second wife then again you are clearly reasoning with your feet in the place of the brains.

I don't really care about the reasons he has chosen to marry a second wife over my sister.It is possible my sister was a complete off cut when it came to matters romance and matters horizontal and the usual woman thingy of failing to appeal past the second or third kid.If i can remember growing up,my sister would a times suck when it came to using brains and perhaps its the reason why the sod got tired of her,but all am saying is,let him be a part of the kids he sired.Let all men rise to the occasion and own up lying on top of a woman and there being a kid as a result and see to it that the kid is properly fed and clothed.Am sorry to lay it bare but its because i get really upset when you see someone who earns well abdicates his role as a parent then splatters some second wife shit on our faces.Many are the times this very sister was supposed to fly out for greener pastures and this sod pleaded to be able to look after her only for him to fuck up now.What is more sickening is the excuse of coming from a polygamous dad and that he sees nothing wrong with him being as much! Can you believe this rubbish???? This is from some idiot who on more than one occasion has failed to see that his kids go to school.

Am not sure about what i will eat tomorrow but am sure if and when i become a parent or some body's husband, i will at every opportune moment try and demonstrate what a good parent is made of.I mean we men and a majority of us have got it so twisted that we can no longer think past what it takes to lay a woman.We seem to have very good brains and cleverness at bedding women but past bedding them we score a distant last.I mean look at it,we keep buying new shoes while women keep buying new cars.What an irony?Women have smartened up whilst we continue calling them silly,but who is more silly?We need to smarten up past bedding the women.Kids if you have them,make sure they have a good life and then proceed to marry all the women even Semenya if you like.Am done!

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