My Friend Paul.........................!

I have been off air for quite a while now and the reason is still the same as the one i gave during my previous post.Been somewhat heldup and the time i have settled down aint really adequate enough to make a post worth anyones readership not even mine.I guess everyone is busy even Wambu is save for the day when banks decided to close down.By the way wambu if you wont talk to me soonest i will call the mets and have you arrested!Looooooooool just kidding anyway.

I have been working here and there but all that is boiling down to something like painting a dog , which is a very difficult venture if you asked me.Again my girlfriend wants me to visit her upcountry.She just sent me some message saying she has been sick and that i should make a point of seeing her soonest but i bet she is being noty she is just missing me.If you are reading this Moraa just know that i love you very much and its just that ayaaaamu broke at the moment i should have visited you soonest or earliest.Imagine she has been very strong only the other day some few years when she retired is when she began getting sickly but there is little i can do about old age surely!

Anyway she is still my girlfriend.The last week or so i have encountered alot of mostly bad and funny stuff.Most disgusting was having My friend Paul arrested and apparently over things i call mediocre and petty.Anyhow i had him released and he is alive and kicking and life must go on.Talking of Paul it reminds me of a crisis he was telling me about which he is facing.He tells me he too like he has always told me before that since he moved around here because just like me shagz is quite a distance he has had dissapointing dating escapades but those worry him least.

What does is what i will tell you in one moment.You see Paul my few friends and i always have very candid talks and they really have been helping alot coz we have perched our brains and cognitions at a very safe haven.So we hardly get into quagmires like we have in the recent past.Personally i have never experienced what Paul was telling me about but i was really laughing my ass out loud when he was telling me about it.It was very unfortunate that he was arrested just as we were laughing about the story in some club around.This reminds me of something again.We have staircases and walkpaths and all thses paths where guys can walk from one point to another.There are also this fools that create impromptu meetings on Staircases and walkpaths and such kind of alleys.They dont even bother or care to excuse themselves aside and they go on blocking the whole way.

I mean what kind of incivility is this.Schools are closed here and all you get are small boys and girls who should be otherwise doing remidial work having meetings in between walkpaths and laughing out loud.I have heard to give a dressdown to some coz its just as irritating as it can get.I was very upset when while in our capital city the same happens,what a debacle?Anyway thats the same that i have noticed happens in our clubs where guyz create impromptu seductions and i wonder why girls fall for impromptu seductions in clubs unless they were out poaching those girls with loose morals who are basically motivated by the urge to put on the latest jeans.Pheeeeeeeeeeew Washindweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pepo!

Damnnnn i was relaying the story Paul was telling me.Now he has a crisis at his Crib.Wambu wish you were here you could have helped him out and shown him the Charity shop.Now of all the chromeskis he has dated he has had horizontal games with them at his cribs save for afew deserters.This is the Problem.All this are wannabees and for those he has dated they view or see him as a potential husband for that matter.So they are normally contented that the relatioship is Gonna last untill they screw it themselves when they start getting naggy and bothersome.For those and a good number of them he has had they have left a scar at his place.
In his words every other has been leaving either a pant ,a bra or a peticoat and or a dress but most irritating are the panties.So he was asking me on how to deal with the panty menace.He tells me he feels damn whenever he visits his bathroom only to find some numerous panties staring at him.He has been contemplating calling them to each come and pick their panties from his place but all the same i wouldn't help laugh out loudddddddddd untill everyone was like whats this one laughing at!And good thing since i slowed on the bottle atleast i was all sober so it must have been something really serious.

Hey Wambu tell him about the Charity shop,by the way do they pay you for the stuff you take or you just donate and walk away but am sure he wouldn't be intrested in liquid cash but just disposal!Hey its late here i gotta hit my crib early!Have a nice time fellas!See yah when i can avoid it!Byeeeeeeeeee

This Thursdays....................

Like I said before I like Eminem and I also have undying love for Linkin Park and yes I Like Wayne Rooney!Oh I also like the new one from UB 40 especially the Hindi fusion in it and yes I like two from Mary J Blige’s Breakthrough album namely Be without you and One featuring U2,this are really fine tracks that one would like to listen to.I have been really busy lately given the second quarter of the year is here and lots of maintainance comes up around this time , so this means lots of going out of office and lots of work and no more idling.Some have been asking where I have been to but basically around the end of quarters or start of the same I get pretty busy outside office thus my absence.Again like I said I am still surprised we could enter into correspondence with mys Sister but that’s a story for another day.

I still don’t understand why people haven’t learnt how to use this modern toilets.So some think if you are done reading the days papers the next destiny is the toilet.I also still don’t understand why people send me forwarded mail which I really detest.I like my mail when one highlights the message he or she wants me to read then simply press Ctrl+C and press compose on their mail program type in the subject and then take the cursor to the message area and simply press Ctrl+V and press send.So that way one receives some decent mail.The other day someone sent me forwarded mail and someone picked up my address and was sending me proposals for some job and I dint like it and was forced to mark them both as spam.

Elsewhere,during this week on Thursday ,I saw wonders of my life.There are somethings you can only hear of on Radio or read about them as happening elsewhere far from you.There is this client who is about my dads age but still strong and running.Well you see in what I do you cant solely rely on salaries you have to do outside jobs to stay in town longer else your boss could pull a fast one on you and you will have to go back to upcountry to grow maize and cassava and sweet potatoes!Now this client of mine gave me summons to meet him in some pub called Farmers Inn I wonder they never call it Farmers Out coz every other pub is an Inn and no out!So they were summons for payment before start of work.This pub ironically is frequented by some tribe called Kalenjins.Apparently I used to think they sell tea also and some food stuffs but oops they only water tummies.this was around midday and I was flabbergasted at what I met there.

The pub was full and everyone was on software and the infamous Guiness.I wish I had a camera or something , I swear id post the Pic here to prove ma story!There was a swarm of girls sitted just like any other client sipping mainly soda while giggling at the becks from some really old men.I tell you this girls were really young and good looking chromeskis infact mouth watering if they were edible or so to say.I was again surprised how warped we men our minds are.Our priorities are warped but never mind coz some Kalenjins are known to build mansions for cows and switch their places with cowsheds.

In a nutshell prostitution goes on during daylight in this town I live in and I hadn’t known about this before and I must say it took me unawares coz I never knew such stuff goes on during daylight.So I met the oldman and he beckoned for a drink but I decline on the grounds of my Tummy and those of morals.So I settled for Redbull an energy drink around here and scampered for safety .Please Wait…………. As I left it was the hardest part.The pub is on a busy street and going out of a pub during mid day and especially a pub like farmers Inn remember not even out….. if someone saw you come out of it then you are a big mess.

That aside I always advice women to be straight forward with men.I am not telling you this story yet.There is this girl called Terry,she is a serial dater and a liar at her best.Now there is this acquaintance of mine who happened to fall victim to her serialism!They met at some place in town and had a afew drinks.Diffrent places have different plum and posh places where the rich and the poor live.For example here where I am at we have for instance a place called runda where the wealthy live,we also have Karen and where I am at exactly we have Mlimani and section 58 which are the places for the affluent people to live.So this Terry said she lives in Milimani and asked to be dropped and it was around two oclock in the morning.So this guy has some smokie car and she asked to be dropped coz the rich stay far from town for peace you know //6!Lol. As they drove up to Mlimani the estate of the rich they reached a certain get and since she was cheating she picked the wrong gate.She asked to be dropped at that point but oops the guard thought it was the boss or someone and so he opened the gate and the Dogs came running………………….wu wu wu wu!Indeed the dogs came running and Terry ran back to the guyz car and the guy was like “Kwani your Dogs don’t know you” and Terry was like.”no they changed the dogs”And the guy sped off and left the girl there for fear of the unknown calamity in this days of insecurity coz the alarm had been pressed.!

Just a thought:Who is mad? Coz we see mad men as mad and they see us as mad, who is madder now?

Anyway the Dogs came running…………………

Stuff I Cant Comprehend................!

Guess who I met today! I have been dreaming to meet this man just like I always dream of getting a good chromeski. I met Peter Kimani a senior writer with the Daily Nation! Apparently this man is modest and eats just like the rest of us! He came for Fiss (read fish) at our local eatery and though he doesn’t know me I looked at him straight in the face and said hello Peter and he said, “Am fine just came for Lunch”! He looks serious and I I guess that’s why we get nice pieces from him every time he writes about anything. Now I hope to meet Clay Muganda next and say hello to him too, hope he will be kind enough to say hi back.

After all this funny things I have been seeing around, I pondered over my beer the other day coz I just decided I wanted to be alone! There is this pub that I quit going due to lots of disservice from the attendants so I decided to pay it a visit and see what was going on there! I couldn’t understand why a girl of middle age and very naïve but good looking could agree to be employed to work in a pub against her wish! As I got there, this girl came looking so dull and bored and I was like what the heck ! At least she could pretend to be happy to see a single man like me but she was all dull! I tried to tickle her but my tickles fell flat. As I found out later she was a newly employed waitress and was all naïve. I went ahead and decided to pull it off her face and make her smile .Anyway I just wanted to understand why she was dull and sure enough I got her to tell me her story and I was like ooh my? To end the dullness here I have to say I sought her a different job elsewhere and to say the least she is better at least the last time I checked. You leave such a nice looking girl in such an environment and the next time you check she is paged and all chaos on her she resorts to start hawking flesh all over and before you know it she has taken ten some bachelors down with her.

I realized I have got a bit taller than I was .My height is like almost those two rulers we used to have in Primary school marked in centimeters ! I am one of those and more than half of a second one! Excuse my poor mathematics in measuring and besides isn’t that progress – some one say amen – loool! Back to this bar I was seated at. Never mind I am worried and scared. I got to town this morning and realized that by the time I got into town I realized many shops and offices weren’t open yet as they normally are. I thought it was a public holiday or something like that. But I remembered its rainy here. Got to think of it and I wouldn’t help but imagine the number of kids in the pipe right now and that I leave it at that. Again before I got into town I heard on my small tuner the presenters on some breakfast show discuss about some really attenuating topic.

This topic is the same I was thinking or rather trying to understand over my hardware somewhere at this pub I was talking of earlier. It’s about HIV/AIDS. Apparently some lady emailed the presenter and she is positive, she is 29 years old and married. The husband is Negative, think of it and something like fruits not being harvested comes into mind. I am sure most of us heard it coz it was a broadcast. What she mainly wanted was if I got her message well to get a broader or is it a wider community of people suffering from the same condition coz to me HIV?AIDS is a condition and not a disease. Her concern was is it that people whom are well to do or rich – don’t they suffer from the same condition or what? – Apparently she has been attending this sessions at some organization I have forgotten the name for it and she hasn’t seen somebody pull up a Mercedes or BMW or any other car to discuss the condition with them.

Simply put, She was wondering whether the rich and well to do don’t catch this condition or what? She has been attending the educative sessions and she has only met with people from the slums around here and basically people who have less, little or none at all range of wealth or is it money? Think about it and you will get to know where the world is headed. Me thinks the whole thing began and still begin from there

My take on all this is this. While thinking about it it’s indeed a serious issue that needs a lot of cogitation and deep thoughts. In the darker aspects of the same we are going to lose a generation to this disease. There will come a time and not long away that you will hardly hear about us having grandmothers and fathers. Why do I say so, we are a generation now that is striving to make it in life but the rate of infection among us youths is high than our older brothers and sisters are.Casual sex is more rife among us than ever. This brings me to something I really dread. However much we would wish - to burry our heads like an ostrich that has seen some coming fire that will consume it anyway - about deciding the sex pattern it’s a reality. Most of us are broke asses and good for nothing wannabes so most of our young girls want our fathers to bed for monetary favors and unfortunately most of this fathers of ours are already positive. So a young girl will go after a corporate guy have unprotected sex and swing back to her real boyfriend and the boyfriend naïve about all this will swing into the container and don’t even think about he too will get disease. I know of such cases and most people have fallen prey to young girls looking all innocent and oops we have a disaster. But all this comes about because of poverty at various aspects of life and the question remains what can be done. I know most women would argue they don’t look for money in older men but let me ask, doesn’t that older man have his age mates or dint he have age mates during his hey days? What about us who view you as age mates and yes we also have young boys or men dating older women and hence the chaos and I firmly believe that the motivation is all about the money. So things ain’t better on either side of the divide and I actually don’t know what is the remedy to this problem.

Talk of sensitization and it still isn’t a solution. There is this place I usually go to and its frequented mostly by people on transit or guys from say like and infact mostly from Nairobi working around in our town or en route to other parts or from up country going back to the city.This are mostly from NGOS and the Government . There are those in the campaigns against HIV/AIDS and you find them in the pub in the very act of propagating the spread of the disease. What I mean is that they who are supposed to spread the message against the thing are the very ones doing the contrary. I think in future it will only be fair if this organizations employed people suffering from the same condition and that is only a thought. So the whole thing is basically confusing and what and how we will do all this is indeed a monumental task ahead and the sooner they find the solution then we might live on to be called grandpas and grandmas or so I think.

ut right now when one tries to comprehend the dating Factor tree its like a food chain of sorts.Picture this Mike is HIV positive and has two girlfriends namely Anne & Joyce. Anne has a boyfriend called Jimmy while Joyce Has a Boyfriend called Nick. Jimmy Anne's Boyfriend has two girl friends who are Naomi and Jackie while Joyce's Boyfriend Nick Has two Girlfriends who are Irene and Mercy plus he has his Wife Martha! Besides Irene, Naomi, Mercy and Jackie have a boyfriend each Namely George, Felix, Philip and Denis! You study that combination and tell me how many people are dying here from Mike and indeed as they say man eat man while dog eat dog! In a scale of one to ten eight chances are that all this will be infected and that is the society we live in !

And these are the things I don’t understand………………………. Somebody help me out hereeeee guyz!

Funny Things I See..............................

Forget about my tummy!I am in the lousy process of acquiring a new bike coz our workplace is sort of on an hilltop and I will ride it uphill and see what comes forth.There is one problem though,in the evening who will drop it coz sometimes I like to pass by somewhere and I wonder wether to hire a rider just like we hire drivers to take it back to my crib for another day but all the same if I were them I would push for an automated bike so it could ride itself back home,but then again that is how far the fools can think.

I hate guyz that cant perfom basic things!I hate Microsoft windows !it takes too long to come up, its very vulnerable to attacks and is generally lousy!But I have no choice but when am thinking straight I normally use My Ubuntu Linux and its all fun!One good thing about it is that it tells me am a fool right on my face unlike Ms Windows that is so quick to pamper me with F1 or is it help, how far can they spoon feed us. I also hate yahoo mail and hotmail coz they cant get into outlook!I hate to get into the office to open multiple tabs on my Mozilla to check several mails from different servers whilst I would have did so simply from outlook or any other mail server in Linux. This two want us to look at their not so amusing adverts but anyway that’s how they make their cash but they should open up and let us have our choices!At the same time am also sure there are millions of us who have never bothered with those adverts! I would find you village if you still take yahoo and hotmail seriously, kindly open up gmail account and import all your contacts and pretend like nothing changed!

Now there is my neighbour who got himself a new share so he manages to sneak in the share when I don’t know!So sometimes nature can be so unfair!So now I always come to my crib late and my bedroom borders theirs and I don’t wanna tell you what I have been going thro lately!I hardly sleep!Imagine staying out of sexual intercourse for a year or so then someone does it next to you and all the giggles …………..damnnnn!That is not even funny ,the Share owner is a guy from my tribe!I wake up at six to prepare for job so am off early only to hear the same giggles !Infact I am seriously considering going to complain or I switch my bedroom with this leech that stays with me!Its painful I think it shuld be passed into law that every man have a share next to him!

Forget also about that!Now there is this girl called Ann.She works in some front office of some hotel and I happen to have known her! Now she really baffles me.She has a distant boyfriend who works and sometimes she travels to see him!She has confessed her love for the boyfriend!That aside she has equally sworn her love for her boss whom I learnt recently they bang and its an open secret they bank bila anti virus!Now here boss is rumoured to be very positive about everything and you know what I mean!So my pity goes to this guy who is far away and am told she is looking forward to get hitched by him!What if the romours are true what is in store for this guy!This girl has the very innocent look you can think of an angel and who knows not how to open the container for inspection?What I find funny is why are some guyz sleeping with their bosses in this day and age?If you don’t find this funny then you are also village!

Elsewhere the sugar mummy called me while I was blogging and on the views of Wambu and I while we were chatting decided to make this honourable mention!So this kasugar boy is foaming round his mouth and phone how sorry he is wants to go back to mummy!I would have wished to hear him say that he is sorry from the way he has been bragging to us in pubs and everywhere!But time will tell how far he goes and lets see how far he gets!That aside I know this insurance sales lady called Leah! This is another serial dater!Given her job which is more like hawking she meets a lot of men here and there and I wonder how fast phone numbers change between mobile phones!Before I proceed there is this habit mostly we men got of flushing out our mobile phones in bars pretending to make calls!Before we came in dint we know we were supposed to call so and so!Why all the show offs and what not! Damnnn something needs to be done. Then funny enough they come in the morning saying I lost my phone blah blah ! Sometimes I regret being a man but there is little or nothing I can do about that!

Back to this Leah woman! She got an inventory and being Jeng or is it the lady from the lakeside, she is untampered with in terms of anatomy and she looks good anyway but her dressing is economical by which I mean she does lots of minis but talk of tools of trade and you have no more questions!I have nothing against minis but unwanted exposure or the inventory is not so welcome! She sort of comes out as skimpy in my foolish thinking! Well very quickly to my point, she owns a pub and that is where I normally do my supper when I feel like having beef.So like every time I have been there I have found her with different male company some which is suspect and you don’t need to be an Harvard graduate to tell that they have horizontal intentions coz they are all over each other! Remember this are all different mean and to be honest there is no any single occasion I have found her with the same man as I did yesterday but now my wonder is why should a decent woman, who drives a nice or is it modest car and has a nice job just peddle herself around!The other day I went to some disco and she was stupid drunk and was all over this dude and she almost made everyone in the disco stop dancing to look at them chainging enzymes from their cup like lips and I can vouch the whole area around them was horny but who cares! So the moral of the story is there are this well to do women who just do some things dogs hate. Even Jimmy my cat is in agreement with that statement!

All this is just funny to me! Life really amazes me! Due to the limit of my typing skills I will end here! Nothing makes sense anymore in life and always try and make some sense out of nonsense guyz! Am out being a Friday we should leave our abodes early!This is another of my lousy posts but am a fool and pliz excuse me about that!Thank youuuuuuu Niceweekedn guyz!All the fun!

Follow The Commandz..................!

I had a funny weekend this last one!I have in the recent past slowed down on visiting pubs but this weekend i had little or no choice even though my weekend got screwed at some poitn about this or the other.My friend visited and dint like the idea of doing pubs!It was a coincidence that My sales man friend Johny is switching jobs and it was the last weekend we were having him around and since he has been a valuable guy to some of us we couldnt miss a send off he was throwing himself and so we had to party like he was going to board the plane to hell the following morning!It was kind of a stag party!

For those who dont know,stag parties are the ones mostly held by men for their friends who are quitting the bachelors end for husbandhood and are mainly attended by men only save for some loose morals!They are something like bridal parties for the brides!So we stayed together till late into the morning and had fun with my friends from the same calling!While in one of this canivores of here, i met this lady who i reliably remember is called lydia!Now while at the same joint she got messed up!She is the loose moral type i have been talking about here!She has a fairly well paying job and she looks comfortable in my view.But due to the zeal of using men she cant buy herself a decent drink and have her fun and walk her inventory home!She is one lady you couldn't trust with your Kid brother,she is a serial dater and information in my small head tells me if you risked offering to buy her a drink she would want to brokenise you or simply she would drink too fast and too much so as to make you broke and run away!So most guyz that know her trademark as being such have shunned her company!So there was these fool that fell for her coz of her inventory which she skimply flashes and invited her to this place called Summit.Its a nice place to be and every other girl you date would want to be taken there.So she steered this fool there and drank him broke and then fled on foot with her buddiez just imagine she cant a fford a cab which is hardly two dollars here!So this fool and his buddiez caught up with her and her friends and ra********* them each with five guyz and they were left for their dear lives!

So i was stupid suprised on finding her with anaa crowd of guyz and all merry making and she was boozing in her trademark style!Now i used to think i was the only fool around but i realised i got a patner!I bet this ones too had a story to tell!Imagine someone ra******** you at around four in the morning and then hardly four months later you are at it again?Some one told me women this days have their own money and dont kowtow men for fun !I mean if you dont have a man in your life cant you just sit there and have your fun and go home or wait for a potential suitor honestly?Does she have an idea how many of us were single in that club!That is not even funny she was in the company of men my elder brothers age surely!

Back to commandments!Forget about the ten!Those we dont even wanna talk about them coz they are sacred!In what i do or rather the nature of my calls we have something we call commands.Unkown to most of you there is a system called Linux just like MS Windows and its installations and configurations are done by commands,failure to which you dont achieve the desired result and hence failure.Even windows before it became the vanilla it is today it started using commands up until some one thought of the mouse otherwise you were supposed to put your butt down and type hundreds of pages from command prompt and you had to follow the stipulated commands.So in a nutshell everyhting got commands or rules to play and so do sugar mummiez!Now i told you here about some guy with his lover mama!He is been basking on the oldwomans glory and having the fun of his life!He recently started screwing about and the mama was kinda upset with his unbecoming trend of coming late and need i tell you commandment number one anymore which is you must get home early!Secondly he doesnt like to work and prefers to sit and lazy about even fetching a panty for himself is abit a problem!So this means he is being dressed by the mama!We have been meeting recently and having one over some gossip and he looks flashy and guyz have been mistakening him for a flashy CEO manning the public toilet!Anyway when you meet him he brings forth the image of a well to do man and those of us who know him just swallow our software with a warm sneer whenever he stands to brag!There are things i'd rather let pass than dare do!So he cuts across the figure of a well to do man when some of us obviously appearing weather beaten coil our balls inwardly!

He has been bragging and i wonder why a man cant approach a lady and tell her he is broke and wont mind a drink from her coz i honestly believe times have changed and so have fortunes so the vitriolic chauvinistm we have been habouring has no place in any modern society!Anyway he has been having a complex that he cant take a drink from a woman while we know where he gets his brag from and some of us who know him have been tight lipped about him!So recently we were about four of us guyz while this lady we helped get a greener pasture abroad had come visiting and she was kind of saying thanks to those of us who helped her get there!So he came in and abused us for downloading from this woman's site in a pub!He didn't have even the slightest of ideas what our relationship with this lady was and he went lambasting us with every word and amazingly such fools know how to lambast fools like us!We pretended he wasnt talking to us and we dint hit back coz it was all unneccessary for us to waste our energy!

As fate would have it he was caught laying in a some place this morning at the time i went to blog!The mama is known to me and so she called me to inform me that he was throwing him out for infidelity,she had no idea what he had given us a week or so ago and i asked her why and she gave me a bloody story for an hour and half on phone about how he has stayed late in pubs with women and at the back of my mind kept asking myself if she had an idea how he lambasted us with our ladyfriend!Anyway the guy has been kicked out and am all smiles coz the sugar mummy thingy had gotten into his head but i cant help but wonder who his next victim is gonna be!So next time you see someone seduce you with eyes in a pub coz am told that is his style pliz be weary and lock the container tight!Byeeeeeeeeee guyz thats just one of the fool (me)'s escapades here!

Am Ouuuuuuuuuttttttttt guyz see yah later!Your comments and or mail keeps this fool running!Though shall not break or flout the commands ASAP!