Friday, September 08, 2006

Snatchers............................!

I was meant to have made this post yesterday but some damned bitch made me loose the whole post coz he raised the dust of my wrath and had to deal with him cacophoniously - whatever that means i dont know- but it is meant to mean i was upset and had to unleash weapons of mass destruction and not a fight but a war of words!Shockers i believe you know whom ayaaaamu talking about!This emindi smoker who runs a cheap cyber cafe in wandegeya but who has nothing between the ears!I believe when someone has nothing between the ears you have little else to yap with that person.

I have been an unhappy human being all of this week and i guess it will be so in the next week.I like to be frank so that if you met me and am cold you dont call me a sadist or serious for that matter!I think and cogitate alot of times and always ask myself why me?I have seen alot in my life and came across alot in my life.Little of you know that at one time i was seeking peace in my life and dint find it in Tanzania either.There was this stormy part of my life that i decided to take leave and went to the waters of Mwanza In tanzania just to be alone and relax and overcome my storms.I am the lastborn almost a substitute in our football team and i am blamed for all ills and i usually feel bad about it.Everyone thinks my girlfriend spoils me which i think is not the case.It reminds me when i said here about my girlfriend people were like i have a sugar mummy but hey my best girlfriend is my mum she is called Truphena Moraa and she is my best girlfriend.Anyway all i was saying is that whenever i have a problem i usually take a back seat and even go somewhere i am alone to seek peace with my self and reassess my failures and achievements.

Then once i see where i went wrong i usually approach the other parties and say i am sorry and if it occurs to me i was wronged i usally avoid my assailants and never utter a word so i just keep to myself and to be honest if you mess me i just ignore you and take on with my life up untill you see it in your self and apologise.Currently i have to contend with my failures,lots of them and its nothing of my making but something just circumstantial and i have little else i can do about it.Just imagine a loud mouth like me sleeping at six ocklock in the evening.......... i also find it strange but what can i do surely and i am a fool anyway............!I told someone i rarely or never cook or eat from my place and she was like do you even know how to cook???????But before i could answer she had a problem with her bedcover and she faded into thin air.Wambu you know whom that is!But anyway i can cook nice and sweet ugali and even beef but wait i admit i cant cook those things i see in hotel menus the chicken tickas, massalla and all that sort of rubbish.I cook simple african dishes and by the way my dad likes when i cook for him at home,so that means if a man can impress another by his cooking aint that great anyway?

Pheeeew i will struggle with my messes and i am sure i will make it but for a start can i say thank you to this wonderful person in SS!You know yourself you fruit bearer!I am sure you wanna know what has been bothering the fool me recently.Its about this snatchers.When you snatch you take illegally and using othordox means.So there is this callibre of people that really baffles me.This tribe comprises mostly of men.We were in a meeting with the peeps from the same calling as mine.Now there is this guy called Niko whom i may say is sort of or precisley in the same calling as all of us were.Apparently he has this chromeski whom am told is working in a blue chip company but which the fool me doubts.She is nice looking to say the least but very village in my analysis and ageing in all aspects.She can paint us and by painting someone- in my language that is my colloquial or slang language - it means telling a lie.For those who knopw swahili if i tell you - wacha kunipaka rangi- i mean stop cheating me !So this chromeski tells us she works in this bluechip mobile service providng company and you find her in Nakuru on a wednesday or a tuesday and you wonder how many offs can someone get and am not telling you where she works is about or over two hundred kilometres away.

Anyway she has done us alot of paint work and the fool me has had to undo the paintwork in my head alot.I hate women that tell lies i find it cheap and awkward coz what happens when the likes of the fool me find out about the truth of the matter.By the way we have this habit of -for those of us with chromeskis they come with them to our gatherings and we get to know them and so on n forth- so i usually get the chance of mingling with ladies forget about the fact i have non of my own.I dont expect anyone to believe ayaaamu lonely but believe what you want.In a nutshell ayaaaamu meant to understand this chromeski was snatched from someone i also know very well though not personally.So Niko snatched this woman from some other Jamaa in a pub.Before i proceed any lady that switches feelings in a pub is a villager and i demand that whoever knows the school the woman attended she goes and demands a refund coz she dint gitch a thing in class, coz honestly what were you doing in school if you can swith feelings to someone you have barely known?It means while you were in class you were busy switching your brain and dint get a thing and so you should demand a refund coz it was all void!

Damn i get upset with stupid goofs !Now i am told this Woman who by the way is called Vero, if i may shorten the ugly name.She switched her feelings in a night to our peep colleague in a place called Taidys!Its a nice pub and if you may allow me its the Las Vegas of here where guyz marry by night n divorce in the morning.Never mind the guy who was snatched was his best friend but now they are enemies just for a cheap woman like this feeling switchers.

Anyway my point is why would a guy seduce a woman he very well knows is tight or atleast is someones girlfriend?Women i may say swing with what they hear.Does one need to hold a doctorate or a masters to know this.I have seen guys kill others coz of seducing there women but luckily i am the type that just walks away singing Craig David's - ayaaaamu walkin' away from the troubles in my life ooooh blah blah blah am walking away- loooooool!Anyhow i think this snatchy abits of mostly men should cease forthwith.Its not proper in my view.Niko i reliably report with another one not before this court have the abit of snatching peoples girlfriends.I am not telling you about this other one not before this court who snatched and went on to marry the snatchee and now the snatchee was again snatched and am all laughthers................. to my bed!Vero is pregnant with Nikos child ayaaamu told though i highly doubt coz after he snatched Vero she connered him and he hurriedly introduced him to his parents.Thats what i call a romantic kidnap!I shudder thinking about the day she herself will be snatched and Niko will be at the traffic lights!Loooooool!In Swahili and Kenya in Particular when someone tells you you have left him at the lights it means you have left that person confused.In simple language it is said as - Umeniwacha Kwa Mataa- Kenya still uses the traffic lights and for a fol like me its very confusing and never ever wish to be left at the lights.

I cant spare ladies either coz there is this one who is a girlfriend to Larry whom we work in the same industry and whenever we meet in our gatherings she is making gestures at me and is very attentive when i speak and keeps telling me how she likes me.How she got my number is smething i cannot decipher or fathom coz if i asked who gave her my number it might bring friction and that is the last thing i want to happen in our grouping.I have tried to explain what a broke person i am and how monied Larry is so she can drop her harrassment towards me but she will have none of it but i have her medicene.In our next gathering i will have to lay her bare and tell her off in the face of all and sundry i believe that way she will give it up.Why would you seduce someones man Ladiesssssssssssssssssssssss?????????????????????????I know a group of notorious ladies that get fun in seducing men and bedding them.

Forget about those days that men could gossip about having have slept with such and such a lady.This days women have fun seducing and sleeping with diffrent men.I had a chance to sit behind some ladis in this funny Taidys pub and heard this women gossiping about having slept with some men who were in the same pub very night and saying he is good ,that one is bad of course in bed and i had o switch a table coz i couldnt believe my ears.To date i dread this ladies and they always sit ladies only so next time you see ladies alone sitted just be afraid and very afraid //8 for the java users!My point is let the the patners be.Never seduce or make gestures to someone you know belongs to someone else pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is that too much to ask especially from a fool like me?????????????//8!Let the patners be..........................howver much or little money or good looks you have resist the temptation , coz you snatch and she or he will be snatched from you.

Just a question and i demand answers................IF the one who snatches is called a SNATCHER and the one who is has been taken is called SNATCHEE what will we call the one who has been Snatched from?..........Bye am out!Laters!

To be continued...........................................

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

If we call the guy who has been snatched from, 'the casualty', then the snatcher will be 'Mr.Sharp' (for being skilfull enough to prey on someone) but that is before he soon turns into 'the casualty' as the idiotic snatchee (who doesnt seem to know what they really want - unless what they want is really being snatched every now en then)moves on. Phew, doesnt make sense...As it was, so shall it always be....

Please keep them blogs up, i enjoy them immensely.. you are like my Hero! Am a fool, 2, i loooove being one, sometiems, that is!

Anonymous said...

Talking of snatchers and snatchees, for heaven's sake if i see a guy i like en i think i deserve him, why cant i go for him... well, unless he s married. I am a go-getter so puhleese just let me go for what i think i deserve. a little seducing.... who cares, they say opportunity chances prepared minds, if he agrees to go with me, then he was meant to be snatched anyways, so blame the snatchee, not the snatcher..... en the chain goes on and on...

Well, after all is said, and all is done, the winner takes it all.

Sammie said...

Indeed indeed! I agree that all prospective snachees (from your description) should be handled the way a snake is handled, WITH UTMOST CARE!

Could snacheed be an applicable name?

BTW: visit Kenyan Blogs Webring and join the bandwagon of kenyan blogs.