Of Polygamy,Parenting & Being Wise !

Before anything, kindly find out what it means to have parochial interests! After that i must admit that this is one of my posts and indeed elsewhere that i have had a difficult time to settle on a title. This is so partly because i have something akin to a personal interest or personal dimension to the post am about to make. We men are a funny lot,i say funny coz when to it comes to matters of the heart,who happiest moments are indeed the weakest.We tend to make some decisions that might seem to have been made using our feet rather than our brains.I say so because,while a man got to be a man and nothing else it really leaves a lot more desired.Apparently we are all naturally capricious in our decision or thought process.

Allow me to give you few events and personalities that i know a thing or two about.Am not really a bible person but at least i was till sometimes fourteen or so years ago when for some unknown reason i started fucking up myself as far morals are concerned.From the bible i know loosely that God loves children God has this thing about born and unborn children.Wait,don't think of abortion yet,what am about to narrate is in no way related to abortion at all.Actually i want to indulge your readership in marital issues.I normally find myself fumbling when it comes to this topic.Like i said, God loves children and i take it straight from there that we should do all in our efforts to ensure all the children have the best they could possibly get from us be it your kid and mine or anybody else' kid.In fact not long ago,when we were growing up,all kids belonged to the entire community,so each and every parent was responsible for every other kid irrespective of whose it was.Fast forward to nowadays nobody gives a damn hoot about kids.We have all become terribly selfish,self serving and the list grows and i must admit that you and i are as guilty as it gets,not that i got a kid of my own but its our responsibility. Put differently, if you have a wife and kids or even if you don't its your responsibility and mine to ensure your family got the best of you.Good parenting is not a favour to anybody but yourself.In fact society views you or judges you according to the care and attention you give to your family and well as a man you expect complimentary reciprocity or reciprocation if you like,from your partner.But be it as it may,you must give your best and this is at least according to the bible.

Moving on, i now wish to give you a pointer to the gist of my post today.As few as two months ago,we saw on live tv a certain man being roughed up by police,or was it council askaris? The man was to many a mad person who was becoming a nuisance in the city. But no the man was perfectly normal until when you saw him in the press. Right before that,the man had been taken to appear before a magistrate for failing to settle a bill at some bar and while in the court room he also caused a stir and went on and on about him being a lecturer and so on and forth.This man was called Martin Nyongesa.This is his real name and am mentioning his real name because he is now deceased and i do this with the intention of helping you and i understand how fucked all we men are.

Nyongesa was before is death known to me but not personally.I knew him through favours extended to me by my elder brother sometime back.Nyongesa and my brother were year mates at University and they all proceeded to teach at the same university and heading a department here and there under the same faculty.So occasionally i would see and meet him at the college eatery reserved for the lecturers at the UoN.Nyongesa is one of the folks that married back in the day while they were still in high school doing A-levels.Remember form six?So he joined university as a parent. As fate would have it,Nyongesa being straight from Luhya land was really amused and mesmerised by the colour of the ladies in the city.He went on to marry another very cute and light skinned lady from somewhere in the city.Together they sired two kids who as you may have guessed very old now.In fact they should be clearing college by now if i have my math right.Needless to say, he brazenly abandoned his first wife.What is more strange is that his first wife of many years suddenly became a cancer,something ugly to the extent that he forgot completely about here and the family as a whole.He stopped doing visitations and or giving any support to the kids, a clear indication of how we men get easily fucked up.

As if that was not enough, he again dropped his second wife if we can call her so,forgot about the kids and moved on to Romania,yes ,Romania the country. Here again he hooked up with another Romanian academician lady and together they sired some two kids.As you might have noticed,he took the lord's word, "Go ye and Multiply"! He never slackened when it came to pumping up the population count.He was to me like a dog that in it's trajectory of movement,it keeps urinating in small bushes as if marking territory.He never got late in putting indelible marks when it came to having children.While in Romania things started going kombo kombo for him.He came back to Kenya took back his teaching job at the university but still everything was going mbaya mbaya.He took to alcohol so as to help him cool down.But am sorry to report he dint cool down.Stuff happened so fast,he started going bonkers,many are the times he couldn't settle his bills at the senior common room.Those close to him say,he was mad already.To cut a long story short, his past came to haunt him a very bad way that you and i wouldn't wish for at all.He died while undergoing mental treatment a disgraced man.


I would have given a second personality's story but i hope to do so in the second part of this post.I have brought up Nyongesa's story coz i know it so well like the back of my hand and it relates to something that hit me this morning that got me dumbfounded.As those closer to me might be knowing,my dad has been sickly lately and i have been juggling between attending lectures and seeing to his treatment amongst other calls.Its been really hard but we survive somehow.So as i was coming back to the city very early in the morning,i received a call from someone close but far away from me,informing me that one of my sisters is going bonkers or is at least headed that way.When i tried to check out the story,it turned out my sister's hubby wants to marry a second wife and this is solely the reason my sister is having the mental tantrums.I have not a problem with what an adult does with his or her life.What i have a problem with is a man running to marry another wife while all along he has been something akin to a twat in his role as a parent and a husband.That aside,he has demonstrated more than once that he is not a man.I say so because if you can marry and fail to demonstrate effectively that you can take care of a wife and then run to marry a second wife,then it means you are an idiot.Secondly if you choose to marry the traditional way,and proceed to marry on credit for more than ten years,that is without paying dowry, and then threaten to marry a second wife then again you are clearly reasoning with your feet in the place of the brains.

I don't really care about the reasons he has chosen to marry a second wife over my sister.It is possible my sister was a complete off cut when it came to matters romance and matters horizontal and the usual woman thingy of failing to appeal past the second or third kid.If i can remember growing up,my sister would a times suck when it came to using brains and perhaps its the reason why the sod got tired of her,but all am saying is,let him be a part of the kids he sired.Let all men rise to the occasion and own up lying on top of a woman and there being a kid as a result and see to it that the kid is properly fed and clothed.Am sorry to lay it bare but its because i get really upset when you see someone who earns well abdicates his role as a parent then splatters some second wife shit on our faces.Many are the times this very sister was supposed to fly out for greener pastures and this sod pleaded to be able to look after her only for him to fuck up now.What is more sickening is the excuse of coming from a polygamous dad and that he sees nothing wrong with him being as much! Can you believe this rubbish???? This is from some idiot who on more than one occasion has failed to see that his kids go to school.

Am not sure about what i will eat tomorrow but am sure if and when i become a parent or some body's husband, i will at every opportune moment try and demonstrate what a good parent is made of.I mean we men and a majority of us have got it so twisted that we can no longer think past what it takes to lay a woman.We seem to have very good brains and cleverness at bedding women but past bedding them we score a distant last.I mean look at it,we keep buying new shoes while women keep buying new cars.What an irony?Women have smartened up whilst we continue calling them silly,but who is more silly?We need to smarten up past bedding the women.Kids if you have them,make sure they have a good life and then proceed to marry all the women even Semenya if you like.Am done!

Some Stories i Know !

I hate my name with a passion because in its abbreviated form it sounds like a djs name. Speaking of Djs,they are those guys that decide the kind of tune that will entertain us when we go to the places of money wasting in the name of having fun and relaxing,some people call it giving the body appreciation for the hard toil.Now coming back to djs,i don't like them for the simple reason that they feel too important to us,they have attitude,most of them hardly take a shower and the list is endless including of course the indisputable fact that they think every woman should notice or fall for them! This are the Kenyan Djs for you. I guess that explains why i cringe when someone calls me Deno because most Djs whom i grew up knowing went by that name. Why would anyone want to be associated with a Dj anyway,not that its a bad profession but the players have given it a bad name.

I wasn't going to talk about the Djs anyway,but just that they bore me to bits.Now this is the part i hate most about this blog,the part where i have to explain why i haven't been posting often as i should,its bad because i have to give excuses that normally end up being the same old song and i guess at that point no one is willing to take me seriously.Like i have said elsewhere before, agony is when people don't take you or what you say seriously at all.Like now when a woman or say even a girl tells me her hobbies are swimming,travelling,listening to music and dancing,even when she is is out rightly looking like a pumpkin straight out of the garden she still claims she can dance, and its her Hobie,Jesus,are we supposed to take such ladies seriously? Every other girl in town has the same set of hobbies and am wondering how wrong could God have possibly gotten it! Anyway that's a story for another day but am trying to say its good when people take you seriously,put differently,its good to stand by your word or promise,so to that end i won't give any excuse for not having have posted for slightly over a month.But for those closer to me,they know why i can't post often but am looking forward to turnaround this blog and get back its once vibrant readers and who knows i could be headed to doing a humour column in one of the dailies around if things go my way.

My closet is normally full of stories for this blog which may soon see the light of day.What i normally do is draft a manuscript and slate it for posting subject to availability of time,funds and convenience of the story at a given time.That's why i have ended up having so many stories that are drafted but which have never seen the inside of this blog,but am soon getting them out of the closet and those that are appropriate will get here,as i might actually have the time and the right logistics to post thanks to M/s so and so. One of the stories i have in the closet is that of beauty of the detail or the devil being in the detail.

In this story i was explaining how a certain distant friend of mine got a rude shock when he came across some detail.Let me indulge you. Maxwell was a beer mate at some pub in outter Nairobi.I call him a distant buddy because he was a friend to a friend even though we attended the same college.I dint like him and even never wanted to keep his company coz he was a loud mouth and he had no particular respect for order in the social places.He would go plastering himself to other peoples tables uninvited and could even embarrass your guests with even taking notice of their displeasure at his unwelcome conduct.For some reason, most ladies seem to like such guys,not that am complaining but i mean,one ought to have a courteous approach to guests who are not known to you and so and forth,remember next time you might be a guest and i am sure you wouldn't want anybody losing respect for you. Anyway, so Maxwell had this fly chic in college,the chic used to drive a Volkswagen polo to college and she was really a nice person albeit naive and she fell short of openly showing she had something more of a culture shock. I can tell you from a very knowledgeable point that driving a polo those days was indeed a good and prestigious thing because Volkswagen is a very good car if you ask me.

Volkswagen aside, the chics name was Mercy and she came from a well to do family as you may have seen and Maxwell too was not badly off but i guess the two of them were happy together. I on the other hand always liked keeping the company of a one George M who was a very good buddy and we could burn the whole weekend together drinking busy gossipping about the campus chics and we liked keeping very limited company outside the two of us coz we were like straight out of the village into the city life.Maxwell didn't have a fair opinion of us and he sort of despised us coz we dint appear to him as any important but we only kept his company at times coz when he felt like bragging,he could buy us booze which was our problem then and normally we knew we could be dropped off at our places of residence well past midnight without having to pay a penny and for that we could chide him as the chauffeur.

Turns out one day when he was bragging to us i had taken one too many and i gathered courage to face him and actually i managed to give him my two cents of what i thought of him.Normally am the kind of person that sits somewhere and watch people make sense or rubbish of themselves as i analyse them.I normally wouldn't wish to take part in a stupid discussion and or with people that come across to me as stupid.I had watched Maxwell for far too long given the fact that we had been drinking together for quite sometime.He was bragging coz of this chic and so this day i told him that,were it not that Mercy was somewhat naive and childish,he wouldn't be having her as his girlfriend,otherwise it was my humble opinion that sooner or later he would lose Mercy for good and the next guy that will have Mercy will be the guy he least expects.His reaction was what anybody can imagine.In fact he got so upset with me but since i was high it din't matter coz my point was home and dry.I will cut a long story short and that's the beauty of being the story teller.

Days went by and my prophecy came to be.Maxwell learnt the lesson ina very hard and bitter way and it was even bitter coz i the prophet was the one to deliver the sad news.For those of you who don't know me well except for this blog,i love to read.In fact some people think i know too much,which is not a bad thing altogether so long as you use what you know to be streetwise and or to make you a better person.Actually all i know is not from official news or information channels,coz the after all the papers are always wrong but wait they are never wrong on adverts or everything for that matter.Like i said before i love to read even the most minute details! So this one Saturday as is my usual habit,when i have the money and feel like relaxing alone in the house and to myself,i normally like buy all the dailies and some Juice,wine or some alcohol just to keep me going.Its good watching movies is not a hobby even though i have listed it as a Hobie just for conformity just like the ladies. So i lock myself up and sift through the dailies to see what i don't know.Then came a shocker.I couldn't believe reading on the Lonely hearts column, Mercy's name and worse still she wanted some who was as hopeless as i was for a boyfriend.Not that she described me,but the kind of person she wanted or she was looking for befitted my profile.I had to be sure it was her and that it was not a case of mistaken identity so i actually took the number and called and confirmed it was the same number of her that i had in the phone just in case.Of course i hid my number and called her and she actually confirmed she was the one and we setup a meeting which as you could imagine i dint show up as it could be stupid to do so.So i very quickly forgot about my solitude and summoned George so we could meet at our usual joint to break the news.He too was in disbelief but we had to break the news and somebody had to do it and that somebody was us.We called Maxwell and we broke the news, and what happened thereafter is a story for another day.But he was disturbed,upset as i laughed the more and more at him.I dint care,coz it was his pride i wanted hurt most!

To cut a long story short,Maxwell lost the chic to somebody that he felt was a loser and i had the last laugh to say the least.It might sound i was happy about his loss but wait,i wasn't keen to see that he lost her,but i was keen to see if he paid attention to little detail.Maxwell's story was retold a couple of weeks ago when another man i know of also lost a woman in a similar fashion and i believe this are the cases that i only know of out of sheer coincidence,there should be many more out there.But that's not really important today,what is,is why would a woman seemingly happy resort to look for love or companionship through the press? Finally what better humiliation is there to a man than this one? Anyway,this is one of the stories i know!