There Was also this One ......................mmmmmmh!

Atchiooooooo! Never mind it’s just a sneeze! Wonder why some ladies still have difficulties choosing the cologne they wear! This Somalis have to look for some new stuff to hawk on our streets! They are all strewn all over here selling everything from some funny sticky gel which am told is called Hina or something that changes nails to look like a chicken that was burrowing the earth for some earthworms to some really tough or is it pungent smelling colognes or is it perfumes? One thing our chromeskis here forget is that those perfumes are meant only for the Somalis coz they are averse to taking a regular shower or differently put having a shower for them is not anywhere on their priority list! I once fell being the fool I have always been bought one of this perfumes in college and we were doing groups one afternoon and I thought it would smell the rest out of the crowd! I mean I was feeling like I was the only one putting on the best cologne for the afternoon when everyone suddenly started sneezing and they all looked at me with a look like what does he think he is on?

I had to excuse myself and go back to my place and sleep away the humiliation! This reminds me of the one which though in different quarters that I underwent in sometime 2000!This was one of my worst! Back or long before that, I had as was normal went out on Saturday for lunch! What always used to happen is because during school holidays or college breaks I used to travel upcountry! Our Shagz is in such a place where the town is kind of far away but we have this zero star hotels that are frequented by who is who in the neighbourhood!So every Saturday or even Sunday nut most Saturday I went there for lunch wether accompanied or not and during those days if you knew how to play pool then you were the in guy! So I could go there order my lunch over some beers and play the in game! It so happened on this material day that my cousin Tom had his wife in the house for Lunch. His wife had in her company her best friend! So I joined them and they told me they were going to town which is about 40 mins drive form where we were for a night out !I obliged and offered to join them later in the drive!

So Sarah was in the company of a good looking babe whom I learnt was called Edna! So after having had enough of the game I joined them! I was introduced and we started the very innocent chat and went on to booze just in wait for time for us to drive to town for the hangout! I dint have a car on me so I was gate crashing into their ride which was free of course never mind fools like free things! Then I did something foolish which still happens to date, you will be amazed how many fools are all around the world! Come to think of it we men are the lousiest thinkers on Earth! How do you just meet a lady and the go all the way and imagine she is not hitched or hooked then start darting her! Then go on to Brag she is in love with you! In love my balls!!!!!!!!So there I was and as we proceeded in our chat and suddenly started throwing my darts into her heart, little did I know some were falling off whilst I thought they were actually clung there on her heart! Anyway foolish me we drove to the club and then had fun drove back Tom dropped me and that was that although I managed to secure a date with Edna for the coming Saturday!

My dad in the very week sent me on a long working trip that involved me being away for almost the whole week coming back the next one! I remember if my memory serves me right during that year valentines day was on a weekday either a Monday or a Tuesday! So I came back the very day Valentine was being marked! So since I wanted to cement my darts on Edna I bought some funny perfume which was going for about $40 something like Kshs 2000 which was a lot of money then in my view according to the money market then! So I quickly went home and delivered my report to Dad and he gave a well done son hand shake plus what I had saved all along so I was fit to take Edna out for the Valentine night out! Things were moving so fast for a fool! So my Brother George had the ride that would befit the occasion! Being upcountry, dating a girl and you are a gizmo lol a bima and you are a bloody fool was the coolest thing for you to ever have to do! So I borrowed it and of course not without a bribe and fuelling it yourself! I made sure I hit Edna’s place by around 7 o’clock so I wouldn’t have chaos driving at night! Then she pulled a stunt on me! She actually connived with her friend so I take all of them out as opposed to what I thought coz Titus my buddy her and I were going out! Titus wasn’t hooked up then. She actually brought some sluttish friend of hers called Martha! I swallowed my pride and drove in some record time to town and soon we went for dinner and here again the unwelcome Martha ordered some food that reminds me of some song here called ‘’chonga viazi’’!Have you ever been scared of some orders people take in Hotels! I cant even remember what it was but it hit me Kshs 400 and of course I dint mind what Edna took after all love begins with impressions or so I thot and still do entertain that idea somewhat! Soon we were done we hit the road to the club! I paid the exorbitant damages I mean entrance charges for the slow ducks! And soon the drinks started flowing! I hoped here we could relax with Edna so I tell her how much cows, cats and dogs my dad would offer for dowry and how I would take her to London on our honeymoon and for some kidogo shopping!Mmmmmmmmmhhhhh I was stupid!

Never mind the drinks were flowing and the girls were drooling tipsy! Since I was driving back and besides I had a mission to accomplish i.e. get into Edna’s heart I wouldn’t step into the gourd!Lol speaking of gourd when did you hear that word last , oh my God words we only meet in reading and not in writing! Forget about. So I restrained myself into drinking much. Edna was there clad in the traditional Red dress which I think if you still put it on ,on this day you are just as village as my grandfather back home! She was dancing well anyone would want to dance with her! Apparently everyone in the club seemed to know her something I dint give much thought for coz if you asked like all ladies say,she;d say its her cousin’s cousin and the list goes on and so I spared myself the pain. Edna came calling for drinks and she lost the decency of the day and was now on party mode, talk of shaggy’s wild tonite!She got wild and wherever I sought her attention she ran to Titus my friend!This sent shivers down my spine, apparently something was not adding up right hereafter seeing her getting cossy with Titus I felt like dying, I reached for the bills and cleared them coz I dint want her friend and her harassed. Never mind I had already presented the two thousand plus worth of cologne before !I had parked in such a way getting out of the car wouldn’t be a problem coz I was familiar with what happens in car parks during such events! I swiftly drove off home all alone getting home around four in the morning and with anything to show or nothing to my credit! Soon morning came and my bro came and inspected his car and found everything in place coz he was worried I would bang it! Then he came to my crib to inquire how my date went and when I told him what had happened he laughed aloud and told me I was just beginning and told me to remember big brother Felix’s words about good looking women. Actually he himself had warned me about Edna and again I ignored!

The worst was still to come when one of my buddies who had seen me at the club called home remember then there were no mobiles !So he asked the mboch to put me online so we could talk.When I came on line he told me on the face not to fall for the girl as the same girl had been all scandals in the same club where we were and I should distance myself from and when I told him what had happened to me with her he also laughed and asked me wether I needed any further explanation and out of the irritation I hung up the call!It later emerged that Edna went on to sleep with Titus and I couldn’t blame him but he also got worried sick when word passed out that Edna was living on a split personality!Where as she used to work or do formal work she was kind of a harlot and so guyz were avoiding her!Its only us that were naïve and we always wonder what business we had chasing a woman all grown up and working!

So the fool me beat a retreat and the last time I checked in 2001 I was told she moved to the capital city ‘Nairobi’ and was doing some menial jobs there and was sending messages home for me to reach her on a cell phone apparently she had acquired one and since she knew I was also in the city so she would ride on ma ass while taking off with ma buddies and sleeping in every other bed in town! I felt I couldn’t repeat a mistake in spite of her numerous pleas.Someone went and gave her my cell number and soon as I learnt it was her calling me even at 3 o’clock in the morning I changed to a new number and forgot about her! Some one say Hallelujah!